Bust Your Mutton

“Should’ve Been a Cowboy” – Toby Keith

Yes, really. Ok…well, maybe not a cowboy(*ahem* girl) but as a kid I would have loved me some mutton bustin’!

That dream was immediately killed when my friend informed me that the weight limit for racers is 55 lbs. and let’s face it…I surpassed that by the time I was 2. Yes, I actually am Italian. How did you know?

Listen, if you’d stop interrupting I could finish telling my story!

So, I learned yesterday that the art of “Mutton Busting” is when a child “securely” grasps the wool (fur? fluff? marshmallow fluff?) of a sheep and rides that animal until he or she rams (or sheeps) head-first into a flock of other confused and slightly scarred sheep. The rodeo clown then moon walks over to the child and makes him or her wave to the crowd to pretend there are no tears flowing from his or her face, and the parent quickly retrieves said child before the other parent notices and begins asking questions like:
“You let her ride a farm animal without any type of harness?”
“She crashed into what?”
“She broke her face?!”
“But did she win? Yeehaw!”

I should also add that the sheep are given dignified names like “Lambinator”, “Fleece Lightening”, “Lambo”, “Serta”, and “Dilly Dilly”.

However, the best part of it all is the way the children are introduced. Let me share a little snippet for you:
“This is Mirrrrrranda! Miranda wants to be a teacher and is 5 years old! Let’s see what Miranda can do!”
“Up next we have Aaaaaaalyssa! Alyssa wants to be a princess doctor! That’s great Alyssa! Can’t wait to see you making those princesses all better again!”
“Here we have Mmmmmarcus! Marcus loves hot dogs!”

Really Marcus? You could choose any career. Alyssa created a new career, for Pete’s sake! Alyssa is a freakin’ entrepreneur.  You couldn’t say professional hot dog eater? You just responded with a statement? Marcus… I’m slightly disappointed but honestly would love to just eat everyday as my career. You go Marcus. I think there’s a little bit of Marcus in all of us.

Also, announcer man, I see what you did there with the “Mmmmm”. Very clever. You missed your calling, man. 

Anyway, the moral of this anecdote is as follows: Kids wholeheartedly believe they can be anything they want and they should! This is the modern world and anything is possible. Ignore the cynics and regretful adults who never followed their passions. Don’t give up on your dreams, whether you want to be a princess doctor, a mutton buster, or just an honest hot dog eater. There is enough room under the sun for all of us to shine.

• Nobody